


stop draggin' my heart around

by houseofzarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 14:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5295104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houseofzarry/pseuds/houseofzarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"People running 'round loose in the world /<br/>Ain't got nothin' better to do /<br/>Than make a meal of some bright eyed kid /<br/>You need someone looking after you"</p>
            </blockquote>





	stop draggin' my heart around

**Author's Note:**

> This is a long overdue drabble that I neglected for months. It's dated now but oh well. Enjoy!

Lavender. That was the first thing Harry noticed about Zayn. A faint wisp of lavender followed Zayn everywhere he went. It seeped into Harry’s brain, overwhelming him. Everything about Zayn overwhelmed Harry.

As a consequence, Harry had trouble staying away from him. An engagement had ceased most of the explicit encounters between them, but Harry and Zayn did still sleep together occasionally. And every time the two boys woke up in a tangle, Zayn would chuckle, “I can’t quit you, can I?”  
Harry would smirk and lick his lips, “You know you can’t.” Inside, his stomach would be whirling with butterflies. He knew if Zayn ever learned any better, he would be devastated.

But when Zayn showed up one day for rehearsal after the Thailand debacle with a brooding face and downcast eyes, Harry knew. The month before they had had soft words in a hotel bed in Paris before Harry and Zayn left on respective planes back to L.A. and London.  
Zayn had whispered to Harry then about how hard it was to do this job. Harry couldn’t relate. Harry was born to be a star; this had always been what he wanted. Zayn had told Harry how he wanted to create music of his own and perform at his own pace. Not at the blinding pace the boys have endured for years.  
‘Stadiums aren’t for everyone,’ Zayn had said with a hand slowly sliding up and down Harry’s side as they faced each other under the covers. Harry had nodded, looking over Zayn’s shoulder to the Parisian skyline and trying to will away the selfish tears that were threatening to surface. It was the beginning of the end.

After the big announcement to the other boys, Louis stalked off with a scrunched up face. Niall pinched the bridge of his nose and walked away to sit down alone. Niall had never been good with change. Harry gulped. Everything was starting to fall apart and there was nothing he could do.  
Liam hugged Zayn and murmured into his ear before walking off to comfort the other two. Zayn then looked up at Harry with tearful eyes. “I just can’t do this anymore.”  
Harry felt a wave of sympathy. Zayn wasn’t built to handle this kind of scrutiny for this long. Zayn had it worse than them, with insults about every aspect of him coming from every demographic. “It’s ok, Zayn. It’s ok.”  
Harry engulfed Zayn and gripped him tight, squeezing the tears back in. Zayn shuddered once, then pushed away to say, “I need to leave.”

Zayn left that night to go to Shadid’s studio. Harry knew this because of the pictures Shadid put up with annoying passive-aggressive captions. But that was Shadid, and as much as Harry hated how it ended, Zayn seemed happy. Harry had to respect that.

 

But right now, months later on a dreamy night in July, lavender is what Harry smells when he opens his door in LA to see a downcast boy who seemed to buckle into himself any second.

“Harry.” Zayn sighs. It sounds like music to Harry’s ear.

The small boy lunges forward and grips Harry’s hips, squeezing the love handles that were a result from Harry’s insanely tight skinny jeans. How someone could be so thin yet so strong when pushing the bigger boy around perplexed Harry to no end. Every part of Zayn made Harry second-guess, but the one constant was that lingering smell of lavender that threatened to overtake Harry every time he and Zayn drew close.

“Why did you come?” It sounded harsh the second it left Harry’s mouth. Zayn’s face contorts with the blow. “I didn’t- it wasn’t supposed to sound like that.”

Zayn rubs at his eyebrow self-consciously. “I know. I just… I was wondering if I could crash for a few days. I have- I just need somewhere to stay.”

Silence ensued and Harry decides to usher him in wordlessly and take him through the living room. He could feel Zayn’s smirk as he comments, “You have a nice home, Harry.”

Harry hates this. This meaningless lead-up to sex when they needed to discuss more important things. “Thank you. Jeff helped me decorate when I didn’t have time during the last tour. So half of the decorating is his work.”

Zayn remains silent until they arrive one of the guest rooms, the one closest to Harry’s room. Zayn looks to Harry and nods. “Thanks, this is great.”

Harry nods back, stepping aside. “I’m about to go to bed. Tell me if you need anything.” 

Harry walks away, not daring to look back. They couldn’t continue with what they had been doing. It hurt too much when Zayn left, Harry couldn’t reopen that wound.

  


Harry closes the door and immediately gets into the shower to clear his head. Why didn’t Zayn give any warning that he was coming? When the water cascades down his body is when Harry can finally think clearly again. He lathers his hair with an apple scented shampoo, methodically scrubbing at his head and behind his ears and scrubbing away at the anxiety that was creeping slowly up his legs. As Harry tilts his head back to wash away the bubbles, he feels a gust of cool air woosh in to hit his stomach. He peeks open an eye to see a naked tattoo-clad boy step over the lip of the tub and stand in front of him.

Zayn was the first to speak. “I was wondering… Did you ever listen to the leaked songs?”

Harry chuckles. Did Zayn really think Harry didn’t keep tabs on him? “Of course I did.”

“Did you listen to the first one? I Won’t Mind?”

“I did.” And my heart broke in two. Harry gulps as those doe eyes meet his in a plaintive way. 

“You never called. I had hoped you would.” Zayn's voice sounded strained. Harry hoped Zayn missed him. As much as Harry missed him.

“What could I say?” Harry’s jaw sets. Nothing he could do would change the fact that Zayn was gone. Gone with his fianceé and his budding music career. They simply didn’t fit in each other’s life anymore and Harry had accepted that.

Zayn looks to the floor of the shower runs a hand through his growing hair. The last time Harry had seen a picture it was blonde and buzzed off. Now it was an inch or two long and black again. Harry admired his chameleon-like appearances. Harry had spent the better half of a year growing his long hair and it’s just now looking nice. Zayn breaks Harry’s absent-minded reverence on Zayn’s hair by murmuring, “...I don’t know. You’re right.”

Harry could feel Zayn getting uncomfortable and places his hands on his shoulders that shuddered under his touch. The dark-haired boy’s eyelashes flutter up to gaze upon Harry. Zayn’s lips fall open and Harry knew that however much he wanted to, he couldn’t fight it. And Zayn knew this. Zayn tilts his head up to display his perfect jawline and it was over. Harry drew to his lips like gravity and pressed his lips into Zayn’s delicately, savoring the taste. Mint and cigarettes.

Zayn’s arms loop around Harry’s fleshy waist and slowly shut the water off while slowly lapping at Harry’s tongue. He then retracts his hand back and lands at the base of Harry’s dick. Harry’s breath hitches. He missed this. Zayn whispers huskily while dragging his hand up to the tip painstakingly slow, “I’ve missed you. So much.”

Good. Harry’s voice thins out into a whine as the hand squeezes his dick, “I’ve missed you too.” Zayn’s hand pumps up and down steadily and Harry fumbles to grip onto anything. Zayn backs him into the wall and increases the pace of his hand, sending Harry into a mess of squirming and panting Zayn’s name.

“I got you, babe. Let go,” were Zayn’s words as Harry reached climax, slurring Zayn’s name and sending a spurt of cum onto the boy’s lip tattoo in the center of his chest. Harry comes down slowly, trying to regulate his breathing. But that familiar smell of lavender curls around his neck and settles in, reminding him that he could never be unaffected by Zayn. Zayn lets go of his vice grip on Harry’s hip and sponges a kiss to Harry’s jaw before stepping back. 

“...Thanks?” Harry chuckles as he smooths back his partially dried hair and disappears into the bathroom to grab a washcloth for Zayn.

"No problem." Zayn grins and Harry dies a little inside. He was breathtaking. 

But as Harry watches Zayn wipe his cum off, he remembers why this was a bad idea. “ Zayn, I- I keep wondering… Why is it that you’re here exactly? I know you don’t just fly to other side of the world for no particular good reason, like I do.” Harry flashes a wry smile to placate.

It didn’t work. Zayn sighs exasperatedly, “Isn't it enough that I'm here?”

Harry rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands. He hadn’t wanted to get into it this early in Zayn’s visit. After all, who knows when he would see him again. “I was just wondering.”

Zayn looks off into space, seeming to gather himself. Harry tenses in anticipation, but Zayn's gaze just angles back and trails down to Harry’s naked frame. “Can we just go to sleep now? It’s nearly 2 o’clock."

  


Sleep was hard that night, and Harry pretended not to stir when Zayn slipped away in the morning. He would know better next time. Maybe.


End file.
